"I know it wasn't. I just- I hate that I can't control myself. I hate that I don't know how or why I'm this way."

And I hate having to admit all of that. When I was by myself I didn't have to, I could loathe myself and no one would care. But Maggie cares and as much as I want to, I'm not going to hide this part of me from her. At least not completely.