I gasp as the blast of cold air hits me and Maggie's voice cuts through my tension like a knife. I snap back to myself and realize what I'm doing. I can smell how scared Dylan is, that he's absolutely terrified.

I let him go, dropping him to his feet as I suddenly feel sick with shame. I thought I was better than this, that I had more control over my actions.

"I- I'm sorry," I say, stepping away from him. All the old self-hate and loathing hits me hard, something I thought I was done with.

"I'm so sorry," I tell him again before I rush out of the shop.